Go away, fat girl!

I’ve seen some people recently that I hadn’t seen in a long time. So they’ve mentioned the weight loss. And that’s great. I’m back on track on eating, and I’ve not been off track on working out. And I’m on the lower end of my weight right now. I’ve been about three or four pounds lower than this but quite briefly. I think it was a fluke. Anyway, I’m 85 pounds lower than this time two years ago. That’s a lot. But I don’t see what others see when I look in the mirror. I hear the comments about my size and part of me thinks they’re mostly being nice. I’ve lost weight, yes. And it’s noticeable, yes. But I don’t see someone slim in the mirror. I just don’t. I don’t see a REALLY fat girl anymore, but she’s pretty chubby. And I know I can’t be. My daughter wears the same size. She’s slim. My coworker wears a size larger than me. She’s slim and fit. And also, I don’t believe she’s a size larger but the point is, I don’t see what other people see. I can sometimes in photos, but half the time I’m honestly not sure it’s me at first. It’s so frustrating. I hate it. It’s like I can never REALLY feel good about myself because I don’t feel like I look good.

It’s all so random

Photo of cast of the Disney Show, So Random

Amusing highs include Pops not just saying good morning but actually coming up and talking to me. First to tell me that I have nice arms and then to ask how to tone up without bulking up. Like I’m an expert or something. Ha! I didn’t act like I knew what I was doing. I just told him that I follow an app but mostly got info from Michael, the physical trainer at Planet Fitness. It was really cool, though, that he came to talk to me.

There’s this blonde that I just don’t have a story for. I feel like I can’t because the truth is I really want to be her friend and work out with her. She talks to me. Always says hi when we pass each other, and SHE complimented my arms as well. I wish I knew how to actually TALK to people. There are a few people that come around the same time as I do and it would be nice to have workout buddies.

Well, I think I wanted a workout buddy because I get bored. I’d really been doing the same thing over and over. Rotating the same 5 workouts over 6 days. I kept telling myself I’d spend time adjust the workout but I just don’t know enough to figure it out. So then Meghan told me about FitBod. Yay! Now every day is different! And I’m learning all sorts of new exercises! And everything is getting worked on! I’m not bored!! Whoo hoo!! Who needs workout buddies! Maybe me a little bit.

Today was a weird day at the gym because I wasn’t at MY gym where I know MY equipment. Everything was newer and cleaner and crisper but I couldn’t find a tricep dip machine nor a glute kickback and what the heck where are the mats? The workout took WAY longer that it would have at my gym but I did kind of like being somewhere new.

I got a body scan today. I’m really excited because the last body scan in January was pretty awesome but since then, while I’ve only lost 2 pounds on the scale, I’ve lost 8 1/2 pounds of body fat and gained 6 1/2 pounds of muscle. What the what?! Go me! My body fat percentage went down 5.1%. The bad news hidden inside good news is that I have very little belly fat at all – which means this flab is all loose skin from being morbidly obese and will most likely require surgery to get rid of. But hey! I’m gonna focus on the positive for now. And that’s that I’m healthier than I have ever been in MY ENTIRE LIFE! I have to shout that a bit because frankly I ate like a morbidly obese girl who doesn’t care about her weight at all yesterday. But a poor choice day every once in awhile isn’t going to kill me. In the past, that would have made me just give up. But here I am, back on track today!

Okay that’s it. I wrote. I’m good for another few days

The twins – more stories from my head

 Arnold Schwarzenegger & Danny Devito in the movie Twins

I saw the twins at the gym today. They come together all of the time. One is barely 5 foot tall if that and the other is probably 6 and a half foot tall easily so at first no one believes they’re twins. Most twins hate it when people ask “are you identical” when they are so very clearly NOT identical. These two, though, think it’s hilarious and pretend that they ARE and that the shorter one just drinks too much coffee. It’s amazing how many people believe them. They’re a riot.

I’ve come a long way, baby…

So I did my fourth 5K on Saturday. I’m kinda proud. My goal was to finish in less than 35 minutes. I haven’t trained for it or anything. I walk on the treadmill six days a week and walk the mall with my mall two days a week but it’s truly walking. Fast-paced, but walking. So this was really good for me. I did walk some of the 5k but I really did run and jog the vast majority. And that 35 minutes? It happened. And the path was actually slightly longer than 5K thankyouverymuch. So was very proud and excited and the very next day my FIRST 5K showed up in my Timehop. It was the same event last year. So I had similar pictures. And last year I was so proud of myself and I’d lost so much weight and looking back, I have come even further. I’m over 50 pounds lightlThese milestones are helping me stay motivated to keep healthy. Because eating is so freaking easy.

Dr. Stewart and me holding up a picture fram and smiling through it.
KISD Fund Run 2017
My official time of 47minutes and 44.9 seconds
My time for the KISD Fund Run 2017
My ofifical time for 2018, 34 minutes, 40.4 seconds
My time for this year’s Fund Run
Holly, Dr. Stewart in a sombrero and me
Fund Run 2017


4:05 alarm rings. ugh. I’m too tired to go. snooze. ring. not yet. snooze. get up get up get up. snooze. okay now get up. stumble to bathroom. pee. wash hands. change clothes. brush teeth. drive to gym. grab the hand weights. grab the earbuds. grab the gloves. walk inside. show membership card to desk guy. “You’re looking lean.” Blink a few times. “THANK you!” Smile. I look leaner. Stand up straighter. Look at me! I’m lean! Glide to locker room. Glance at self in full length mirror. He said I’m lean. Put keys and weights in locker. Glide to elliptical. The sweat routine begins and I’m so glad I came!

Who knew?

bitmoji of author rubbing her chin with the word

A list of things I’ve discovered I actually LOVE (in some cases every bit as much any random candy):

  • Hummus
  • Raw green beans
  • Tomatoes – particularly grape tomatoes that can just pop into my mouth
  • Sweet potatoes – microwaved and plain with skin on
  • Couscous – which I had been thoroughly convinced I despised. Turns out I like both Israeli and Mediterranean couscous and I know the difference
  • Crunchy chickpeas
  • Riced cauliflower
  • Mashed cauliflower
  • Roasted pretty much any vegetables I’ve come across
  • Smoothies – okay this is vague but I’ve been randomly combining fruits and veggies and greek nonfat yogurt and YUM!

I’ve also discovered that coffee is actually pretty good and I don’t have to have five packets of Splenda and six tablespoons of creamer!

I feel like it’s been this big secret that healthy food tastes pretty damn good! What the heck?!